Easing Separation Anxiety: Tips for a Calm and Confident Start
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Hey Reader! When was the last time you walked into a new social environment by yourself without knowing anyone? How did it feel? If it’s been a while, I’d encourage you to try it soon – go to a new exercise class, go to a new Bible study, or attend some other social event by yourself. Many of us would notice a little bit of anxiety in ourselves! So many of our students are experiencing a similar separation anxiety in our classrooms right now. They just aren’t so sure that you’re going to do a good job of taking care of them! The most important tip for you is to calm yourself first!Breathe, pray, roll your shoulders back and forth and make sure your own heart, mind and body are calm and excited about children coming in that door. Mirror neurons are powerful forces so always start with yourself! Then…. Here are 3 tips to try to help ease some separation anxiety (it happens at all ages, by the way):Build a Warm and Welcoming Environment: Start off the morning by greeting each child warmly as they arrive – use their name, make eye contact, and offer a smile and gentle touch. This ritual will quickly become the routine that calms the children’s hearts and minds as they arrive every day. Engage Children Quickly in an Engaging Activity: Plan for engaging, hands-on activities that will “invite” children into the room to explore something fun! When children’s attention shifts from their anxiety to something active and fun, their fear is often replaced by the joy of discovery! Offer Reassurance and Patience: Provide calm and consistent reassurance, letting children know it’s okay to feel sad or anxious; it’s ok to miss Mommy and Daddy. A visual schedule that shows them the routine for the day is often very helpful in reassuring children. Make sure your visual schedule includes that final piece of the routine – “Mommy comes back”! Then, just be patient with them. They will eventually trust you to care for them! Parents also play a role in helping children adjust to the school year. Here are a few tips to help:Model a Positive Attitude About School: Parents should use phrases like “School will be so much fun today. I can’t wait to hear all about it when I pick you up after naptime.” A parent’s anxiety will most definitely affect a child’s anxiety about school. When parents are calm and positive, the child is often much more comfortable as well. When parents are anxious, fearful or overly sad, the child feels insecure and fearful as well. Create a Consistent Goodbye Ritual: Build a fun, playful connection routine to say goodbye to your child. Maybe a quick hug and kiss on the nose or a secret handshake or two hugs and a wave – something fun and lighthearted. Then say “I love you, sweetie. I’ll be back this afternoon after naptime.” And then leave. Do not stay in the hallway hoping to catch a glimpse of your baby. If they see you, it creates a second separation which is often harder than the first. The first few weeks are often hard as all of us adjust to new routines and to each other – teachers, children and parents! Trust that the Lord has connected you to each other for His purpose and His glory. I can’t wait to hear about all the amazing ways that He will show up for each of you! Check our podcast episode this week where we dive deeper into the science behind what’s happening when children experience separation anxiety! Cheering you on this week! -Your ECCN team
Colossians 3:16 “Let the message of Christ dwell among you richly as you teach and admonish one another with all wisdom through psalms, hymns, and songs from the Spirit, singing to God with gratitude in your hearts.” |
