HOLD THE BOUNDARY, SHARE THE POWER
|
Hey Reader! “You need to clean up. Now. Because I said so.” Sometimes that is exactly what we want to say, isn’t it? And sometimes, that simple command turns a small transition into a full-blown power struggle. Young children spend much of their day having decisions made for them. What they wear, when and what they eat, where they go, when they clean up, what activity comes next, and where they sit are often adult decisions. So it can be powerful (and SO helpful to your own sanity) to give children appropriate places to have some control. (From a fellow control-freak! LOL!) Sharing power doesn’t mean giving up the boundary. It means giving children a voice within the boundary. For example: · The boundary: It is time to clean up. · Instead of: “Clean up your blocks.” · Try: “It’s time to clean up. Do you want to pick up the red blocks or the yellow blocks?” The boundary hasn’t changed. The blocks still need to be cleaned up. But now the child has a meaningful choice and a sense of control. Try This in Your Classroom Look for places where you can offer two choices while keeping the adult boundary clear: · “It’s time to go outside. Do you want to walk to the door or hop?” · “It’s time to wash hands. Do you want soap first or water first?” · “We’re going to clean up. Do you want to put away the cars or the animals?” · “It’s time to sit for our story. Do you want to sit beside me or on the carpet?” · “We need to get ready for nap. Do you want to listen to a story or a song when we lay down?” The goal isn’t to offer a choice about whether something happens when it isn’t actually a choice. Instead, offer choices about how you will get there. Sharing power REMOVES the power struggle. And then don’t forget to celebrate! “Look at us! We did it together!” (Even if it took a while to get there!) That small moment of celebration helps children notice their own success and experience cooperation as something positive. As adults, we may need to remind ourselves that holding a boundary doesn’t require being harsh, and sharing power doesn’t require giving in. We can be the steady adult who says, “This is what needs to happen,” while also saying, “You get to be part of how we get there.” That’s not weakness. That’s teaching and discipling!
Cheering you on this week! -Your ECCN team P.S. If you don’t want to receive these weekly emails anymore, no hard feelings. Click HERE to be removed from this list. (You’ll still receive other emails from us based on past preferences.) |
