Get Curious, Not Furious: A Fresh Approach to Classroom Behaviors

Hey Reader!

As early childhood educators, we often encounter challenging behaviors that leave us wondering, “Why in the world did they just do that?” It’s essential to remember that young children don’t act out without a reason. Behavior is a form of communication, and behind every action, there’s a motivation—usually tied to an unmet need or emotional struggle.

Children may act out when they’re overwhelmed, hungry, tired, or unable to express themselves. A two-year-old who hits might not have the words to explain her frustration, while a preschooler who refuses to follow directions might be seeking independence and a sense of control. Often, challenging behaviors stem from developmental phases where children are learning to regulate emotions, understand social cues, or assert independence.

Instead of reacting to the behavior itself, we can dig deeper and ask, “What is the child trying to communicate?” Someone once said “Get curious before you get furious!” Dig in and try to figure out the underlying motivation. Calm yourself. Then respond with empathy and support to help children feel safe and seen. Recognizing the motivations behind challenging behavior allows us to guide children through their emotions and teach them healthy coping skills so they can make better choices next time! (Hint: They’ll need LOTS of practice in building these skills! Consistent, calm repetition is key!)

By looking beyond the behavior, we can figure out the child’s underlying needs and work to meet them in constructive ways. Often, just a slight change in your schedule (like an earlier snack), or teaching children appropriate alternative communication skills (sign language, visuals, etc) will make a world of difference. Remember…get curious before you get furious! (In fact, you shouldn’t have any need to get furious at all if you start out curious!)

Dig into this topic a lot deeper in this week’s podcast episode with Claire Turner.
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Cheering you on this week!

-Your ECCN team

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Listen to this podcast episode with host Monica Healer now on Apple Podcasts or Spotify.

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Have you checked out our online courses lately?

We’ve recently added:

Chelsea Robberson on Teaching the Whole-Brain Child
L.J. McCulloch on
I See You, Race in the Classroom
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Dr. Shelly Melia on Spiritual Formation in Early Childhood​
Deborah Stewart on a
Faith-Filled Play-Based Classroom​

Check out our entire library of courses below.

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Colossians 3:16

“Let the message of Christ dwell among you richly as you teach and admonish one another with all wisdom through psalms, hymns, and songs from the Spirit, singing to God with gratitude in your hearts.”

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